It’s confession time.

I. Am. Fat.

I am NOT FAT ANY MORE!!!

But I started out that way. I wasn’t obese by medical standards, like folks you see on “Biggest Loser”, but overweight to the point that I couldn’t stand to look at myself. To the point where those little charts at the gym point at the “red zone”. To the point that my Wii Fit said I was obese. (Stupid machine.) At 5′-3″, I weighed 223 pounds at my absolute heaviest, wearing a size 22/24 jean.

Me at my heaviest – 223 pounds

I haven’t always been this way. I was rail thin as a kid, and worked very hard to stay skinny as a teen. My wedding dress is a size 6, and I had to have it taken in a few weeks before our wedding because wedding jitters had put a huge dent in my appetite. The years went by, lots of babies came into my life, and my weight just kept going up. First to a size 10, then a 12, then a 16. Then I moved into plus sizes, where they are only tagged 1X, 2X, etc.

Me and Mr. Pea, Christmas 2006

I was diagnosed with diabetes in the summer of 2006. It scared me so badly that I busted my tail and lost 60 pounds. I felt great for the first time in years! Then, I had a stroke May of 2009. Nothing serious came of it; there’s no permanent damage to my memory or motor skills – just a tiny, lingering balance problem and a few lost words. After the stroke, I had to start taking a beta blocker type medicine, and it was devastating to my weight loss. One of the nasty side effects of these medications is weight gain, because they slow down your heart rate and metabolism This weight gain happens even if you live on a restricted calorie diet. In the first six months after my stroke, I gained twenty pounds by eating sensibly (low carb/1500 calories a day) and exercising every single day. I was furious at the weight gain.  I was terrified that I would die before my children grew up.

Eventually, my body healed and so did my soul.  My prayers to God gradually turned from “Why Me” to “I surrender…show me the Way”.  I calmed down, and found the determination to pick myself back up and shed those pounds. My first step was consulting with my Doctor to find a different medication that will keep my brain from exploding again but still allow me to trim down. We found one that worked.  I started exercising again. I’m getting stronger every day.

Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? ~ 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 (NIV)

I love this scripture from 1 Corinthians. We are temples of the Holy Spirit. God calls us to be good stewards of all his gifts, and this includes the earthly bodies he blesses us with. We need to take care of them as though, well, as though God was dwelling there.

So here’s to a new Healthy Me!

Me, September 2010. Yeah, I’m cutting a cake. It’s a Birthday Cake baked for me by my kids.

Recent Me – 159 pounds – sporting new glasses!