For Amber – TheToad Story

Originally posted in October 2009.

Ahem. The Toad Story in all Its Gory Detail….don’t read if you’re squeamish.

My youngest son has always had a propensity for stashing stuff in his pockets. From the time he was big enough to stuff those chubby little fingers into a square of fabric, his pockets have been an unending source of unusual things – sprockets, odd inkpen parts, legos, nuts, bolts, acorns, matchbox cars, pieces of string, contraband gum and candy, snacks for later, dogfood kibble, screwdrivers and wrenches, sunglasses, homework, spare shirts, balls, transformers, trading cards…all the trappings of little-boyhood. The fact that I thought cargo pants with those over-sized patchy pockets were just too cute when he was little didn’t help with the pocket stuffing situation.

My youngest son also liked bugs and creepy crawlies, and tended to stuff THOSE in his pockets as well, regardless of their willingness to be carried along. I’ve found geckos, lizards, mice, snakes and innumerable unidentified insects in his pockets as I’ve prepped clothing for the wash cycle over the years. Three summers ago, there was toad in the cargo pocket, and I missed it on the way into the washing machine. Toads are definitely not wash and wear. The poor thing probably made it through the wash cycle, since we have a front loader that uses a minimum amount of water. The spin cycle, however, proved to be too much for his warty little self, and all his innards sort of came out his mouth. Gross. Youngest son and his older brother were amazed and impressed with the array of toad organs, and spent a long time examining them while I tried to be nonchalant, pretending that I was not actually allowing my sons to poke around in toad guts. (Honestly, how often do little boys get an opportunity to see the inside of a toad out side of high school biology lab?)

We buried Mr. Toad in the back yard, and I washed the clothes all over again.

EMail Anglea Pea

Friday’s Letters – June 22

friday's letters

Dear Children - I understand that you are still growing, at least you two boys are.  Yeah, you girls are, too, expanding your brain cells.  I also understand that you all expend a lot of energy running, biking, kayaking, playing and simply existing.  However, could you please let the refrigerator stay full for at least 24 hours?  Is it necessary to eat an entire watermelon in one afternoon? In addition to the two pounds of turkey coldcuts, an entire batch of mashed potatoes, two quarts of blueberries, a dozen kiwis, three (or more) sets of popsicles, a party sized bag of tortilla chips, a quart of just made salsa and Costco sized boxes of granola bars and Fruit Snacks?

Dear Constable –  What happened here?  Did you miss the road?  Or are you now patrolling the sidewalk? (Note…yes, that is RAIN you see!!!  We got a few showers earlier this week!)

Dear K – I am so PROUD of you for stopping smoking!

Dear Chainring Tattoo on my Calf - Thank you for fading out a bit more.  At least to the point where I can shave again.

Dear CrossFit Dominic – Why are you so cruel?  Just when I think I have the upper hand and have this working out lifting weights thing figured out, you come along with a crushing workout of the day including a bazillion squats with a 40 pound kettle bell that leave my quads sore for days.  Which reminds me…

Dear Thighs – you may now stop complaining about the bazillion squats, and just let me walk like a normal person.  Sitting down and standing up without wincing would be nice, too.

Dear Leukemia -  please take your stinking hands off of Shelly’s daughter, m’kay?

Write a Letter.  Keep the Faith.

EMail Anglea Pea

Friday’s Letters – June 15

PhotobucketDear Mom - Thank you for sending me the $10 for the animal crackers for Dad from Costco.  Totally unnecessary, but  WOW!! I now have a secret stash in my wallet for an emergency Starbucks Fix or two!  Oh, and I actually wrote you a real letter, on paper, and dropped it in the mail this morning.  Enjoy!

Dear Dust Bunnies -  Thank you for the AWESOME trail ride this week!  You were especially kind to a beginner rider.  I can’t wait to go again.

Dear Crazy Driver at 820E This Morning – Texting and driving is NOT COOL, especially when it distracts you to the point that you swerve over into my lane, totally freaking me out and making me spill coffee!

Dear LC - Hey Dude!  I saw you on the evening news!  You totally rock.  Totally.

Dear IT Department - Thank you for fixing my computer.  Now where did you put my Autocad settings? And the drivers for my ancient printer?

Dear Weathermen – What’s with the overhyped forecast?  Yes, we had hail on Tuesday.  That does not mean that every rain cloud that forms for the next several days is going to drop volleyball size chunks of ice on our heads.

Dear Ravelry and KnittyStop distracting me. That is all.

Dear Summer School - Thank you for being so kind to DirtBike.  He’s getting the hang of Algebra!  Happy Dance Time!

Dear Neighbors on the East Side – I am so sorry for all the damage you are dealing with.  While I am shamefully gleeful that the hail didn’t hit us this time around, I feel for your losses and the utter chaos you’ll be living in for the next several weeks.  Take a deep breath, stay calm, and deal with the insurance companies and cleanup one moment at a time.  I promise it will all work out. The roofs will be replaced.  The cars will get new glass and the dents pulled out flat again.  The trees will grow new leaves.  The world will be all right once again.

Write a Letter.  Keep the Faith.

EMail Anglea Pea